Last night, I stumbled across some pictures taken on my honeymoon. We must have been facinated by these trees, judging from the number of shots we took. When we returned to Bermuda a few years ago with our family we photographed our daughters playing among the same roots.
Seeing these photos again brought to mind a poem by William Blake that we had selected for the cover of our wedding program:
Love and Harmony combine
And around our souls entwine,
And around our souls entwine,
While thy branches mix with mine
And our roots together join
And our roots together join
It occurred to me that those trees symbolize the spirit of the poem. Each struck a mutual chord for Mike and I as we began to plan our future. Perhaps we made an unconscious connection?
Of course, I was compelled to explore the significance of this revelation at 2 o'clock in the morning. So I dug up a copy of our program and placed it along-side. the pictures. I was struck by how apropos these words and images have become in our marriage. Together they could become an illustration of our lives.
Mike and I are about to celebrate our 20th Anniversary. I guess that's a pretty impressive landmark these days, but I had never given it much thought.The late hour and empty house provided the perfect opportunity for reflection. Inspired by the image before me, I began to evaluate the "State of Our Union" for the very first time. From this vantage point, I was able to grasp that we have created something truly awesome by the combining of our roots - a solid partnership; two confident, seemingly well-adjusted children (who only resent us some of the time); two decades of happy memories and new traditions that developed from blending the best of both of our family traditions with our own ideas of celebration; a life of contentment rather than luxury.; a workable battle plan when the inevitable crisis arises; a support system we can rely on when things are beyond our control and an unspoken commitment to always have each-others backs, even when we're not on the same page. Plus only one person gets to be crazy at any given time (I put it in the marriage vows!) We've taught our children to live by this as well. Controlled lunacy may have been the secret to surviving this long, who knows?
When all is said and done, it has been a pretty successful union up until now (Hope I won't jinx it by trying to evaluate it!). I believe our unconventional approach works because we agreed to co-existence from the outset, rather than trying to absorb one another to transform ourselves into something we hadn't been when we met. Like these trees, we let nature follow its course and hoped for the best. Often, the newly fused trees die when their roots become entangled. Often, one will flourish as the other withers. (Sometimes lightening will strike and put them both out of their misery!)
We have been lucky. Our little grove continues to thrive.
Tonight, I realized for the first time, by joining together and allowing our lives to become entwined, we have become greater than the sum of our parts. That feels like a pretty good legacy and more than I ever dreamed possible. I'll have to pay more attention during the next few decades...
Tonight, I realized for the first time, by joining together and allowing our lives to become entwined, we have become greater than the sum of our parts. That feels like a pretty good legacy and more than I ever dreamed possible. I'll have to pay more attention during the next few decades...
"Two Less Lonely People in the World" by Air Supply
Our wedding song.
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